Top Tips After 1 Year of Reading Self-Development Books

I’m guessing some of this stuff will help as a parent at some point, hopefully.

Here’s a list of the best bits I’ve read about:

  • Self Serving Bias is a massive influence on all of us.  Build the emotional intelligence to prevent you acting on it.  It’s got a long history too, apparently Buddha said something about it, and so did Matthew in the Bible:
    “Never mind the black spec in my eye, first remove the log from your own”
    Meaning, don’t be a hypocrite.
  • Some people suffer from feelings of inferiority and low self esteem, depression etc, whilst many others suffer from feelings of superiority, resulting in anger, having no-patience and a low-frustration-tolerance
  • Avoid comparing yourself with others
  • Avoid ‘What if’ statements, verbally and as thoughts. They make you anxious
  • Avoid ‘should’ statements, they will make you angry and unhappy.  E.g. “This should have happened” (or shouldn’t)
  • Acceptance. Accept what you can’t change – e.g. having a crap night’s sleep
  • Flexibility. Those who are flexible with their mindset, and with their plans, are generally the happiest people.
  • Aggressive opinions of right and wrong cause all sorts of unnecessary conflicts. I’m sure many of the members of terrorist organisations feel what they are doing is morally right.  The best way to avoid such strict views, is by spending time with a range of people with different thoughts, political affiliations etc.
  • Have a flexible mindset not a fixed mindset in terms of learning, using statements such as “I can’t do it yet”, rather than “I can’t do it”

Josh

  • The best way to stop caring about what others think, is to stop complaining about and judging them yourself
  • Have a preference for the way others behave, but don’t demand it.  For example, don’t demand that people drive how you deem appropriate, or you’ll just spend every commute being angry.
  • Practice gratitude, or you’re likely to want more and more, when you don’t actually need anything

Don’t Get Stuck on the Negatives

 

Why do we spend so much time thinking about the negatives?
Dwelling on the tiny injustices and trivial occurrences which damage our egos…

Here is a great video about the importance to think about the positives, and how to do it –

 

One of the best tips, that we can probably all relate to us when you’ve come home from work. Tell your loved one(s) specifically about what was good about your day.  Don’t go into the negative things.
This will prove very difficult at first!

This is one way that you can train yourself to focus on the upside of your day. Other techniques include writing down what you’re grateful for each day.

Positive affirmations are also simple, yet effective.  For example, next time you go into the gym, think or state out loud – “this is going to be an amazing workout”

I think being positive is a very important aspect of parenting.  Children copy their parents, so try remember this next time you start moaning about things that don’t really matter.

 

National No Moaning Day

I think this would be an amazing way to get sponsorship and make money for charity.

There are similar things about on the internet, like the 21 day no moaning challange –

Are you willing to take the 21 day No Moaning Challenge?

You should be able to nominate a spouse, a colleague, a gym partner or yourself and get sponsorship for charity.

This should definitely be a thing. Either that, or a 30 days of gratitude challenge. Gratitude is a life changer, try it for a week and see the difference that it makes.  I think it would be a cool idea to take pictures of everything that you are grateful for, and make a collage out of it; that is then placed in a prominent place at home or in work.

8 Tremendously Important Ways That Gratitude Can Change Your Life

Also, listening to this lego song helps too!