I’m guessing some of this stuff will help as a parent at some point, hopefully.
Here’s a list of the best bits I’ve read about:
- Self Serving Bias is a massive influence on all of us. Build the emotional intelligence to prevent you acting on it. It’s got a long history too, apparently Buddha said something about it, and so did Matthew in the Bible:
“Never mind the black spec in my eye, first remove the log from your own”
Meaning, don’t be a hypocrite.
- Some people suffer from feelings of inferiority and low self esteem, depression etc, whilst many others suffer from feelings of superiority, resulting in anger, having no-patience and a low-frustration-tolerance
- Avoid comparing yourself with others
- Avoid ‘What if’ statements, verbally and as thoughts. They make you anxious
- Avoid ‘should’ statements, they will make you angry and unhappy. E.g. “This should have happened” (or shouldn’t)
- Acceptance. Accept what you can’t change – e.g. having a crap night’s sleep
- Flexibility. Those who are flexible with their mindset, and with their plans, are generally the happiest people.
- Aggressive opinions of right and wrong cause all sorts of unnecessary conflicts. I’m sure many of the members of terrorist organisations feel what they are doing is morally right. The best way to avoid such strict views, is by spending time with a range of people with different thoughts, political affiliations etc.
- Have a flexible mindset not a fixed mindset in terms of learning, using statements such as “I can’t do it yet”, rather than “I can’t do it”
- The best way to stop caring about what others think, is to stop complaining about and judging them yourself
- Have a preference for the way others behave, but don’t demand it. For example, don’t demand that people drive how you deem appropriate, or you’ll just spend every commute being angry.
- Practice gratitude, or you’re likely to want more and more, when you don’t actually need anything